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June 16
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You never know what you've got until it's gone.

I can't even express how true that cliché is for me. It wasn't until I lost her that I even realized how I felt, what she meant to me.

It was awful when Draven died – I didn't know how I'd go on with that giant hole in my life. But this was a whole new level of pain, losing Shadow. When my mom told me, it felt like my spirit left my body, and the only reason I was able to move – to do anything – was just because I must’ve been on autopilot, or something else had taken control of my body. I was almost surprised my heart even kept beating when hers had stopped.

It wasn't fair, and I wished it wouldn't.

When I found out she’d died because of a curse - one that Ambrose had known about all along - I about lost it. How could he claim to care about her at all, and be with her anyway, knowing that it would kill her? I still can’t wrap my head around that. If it was me, I never would’ve let this happen to her. Even if it meant never being able to be with her, I wouldn’t have ever let it happen.

She’d been my best friend since fourth grade, always there by my side. Trying to imagine a life without her in it was like looking into an endless black hole, and it made me realize something I should’ve known all along. I wanted to have her by my side forever – I would have done anything to prevent this if I had only known. It made me finally realize that Shadow was the most valuable thing in my life, and she’d gotten involved with the wrong guy. All because I hadn't spoken up sooner.

Aurora, at least, should have known better. If she knew about the curse all along, trying to stop it once they were already involved wasn’t good enough. As Shadow’s friend, she should have prevented that doomed relationship from ever starting. Wasn’t it bad enough that their family curse had already killed one of my friends? Even if they had brought Draven back, it didn’t erase what had happened to him. Ambrose was her brother - she should have kept him away from Shadow, knowing what would happen. She should have never allowed them to be together.

Should have, should have, should have. There were so many things that should have been foreseen, so many things that should have been done differently by any and all of us. The hole in my chest never stopped burning as my thoughts went in circles, coming up with ways this could have been prevented.

If I could go back in time, if I could do it all again, I would make sure she knew how I felt. I would do everything in my power to protect her and keep that fragile life safe - no matter what.
For the 100 themes challenge, this is 28. Sorrow. I think it fits the theme better than my first attempt.

Told from Hemlocke's perspective, talking about a time roughly a year ago - June 19 or 20, 2013.

Critiques are welcome - I want to improve my writing!

DO NOT USE.
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:icongdeyke:
GDeyke Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014   Writer
I agree this is probably a better fit for the theme, and I like it a lot!

Typo: brother -she

Something I want to point out just in case: in a way, this piece seems very... detached, to me. Sort of distant, unemotional, and I think part of the reason for that is in the sentence structure - it almost reads monotonous, in a way, like every sentence goes flat and then down. It's hard for me to explain what I mean, so hopefully I'm making some sort of sense here. ^^; Anyway, a lot of times this would be bad, but I think it's actually a good thing for this piece and this emotion, because it's like a depressed detachment? So despite seeming unemotional, I think it's actually expressing the emotion a lot better because of that! It actually reminds me a lot of the way some things I've written when I was extremely depressed came out, in that way.

Also, I think the last paragraph seems a little bit out of place. It's partly that it makes having a second chance seem like an actual option, which of course it was, but he didn't know that at the time - and because of that it seems a lot more optimistic than the situation/piece/emotion really calls for. On the other hand, since it's all past tense and told later, maybe he does know, in which case it's the if that seems out of place. Maybe it would be better to talk about "being able to do it all again" instead of "having a second chance", so it seems more like he's wanting to change things in the past rather than the future? I'm not sure, but I think it ends on a surprisingly up sort of note as is, considering.

(I think my critique of your writing gets more and more intense the more of it I do. :XD:)
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:icontheblackdragoninn:
TheBlackDragonInn Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks! I'm good with critiques >.< so I've changed the typo and a bit about the last paragraph O_O I hope it's a bit better that way!
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:icongdeyke:
GDeyke Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014   Writer
I think so!
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:iconvillagelanterne:
VillageLanterne Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is so well written! :glomp:
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:icontheblackdragoninn:
TheBlackDragonInn Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks!!! <3 <3 and for the fave O_O
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:iconvillagelanterne:
VillageLanterne Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
well deserved! I'm sorry I don't have too many improvement suggestions for your writing. I feel like you captured his voice (??) perfectly throughout ...so I'm not sure how to suggest you can improve. I'm sure others can step in to suggest something though! :heart:
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